i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
