Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
