I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
