I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
