ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
