Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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