Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
