so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize