Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
