i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
