i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
