Are we in a gay sports bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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