Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
