I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
