i just sent this text using only my big toe
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
