We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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