Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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