You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
