I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
