better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
