his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
