So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
