In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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