my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
