youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
