Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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