hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
