For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
