You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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