they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
