he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
