i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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