hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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