I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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