Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
