I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
