oh god the rape fog is back!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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