I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
