Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
