i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
