Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
