i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
