I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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