I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
