Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
