Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
