If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
