piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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