Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im holly from the hills drunk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
