Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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