once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
